Power Illusion

Confusing Power with Strength

Many people who act cruelly believe they are strong because they associate strength with control, dominance, or fear. Psychology shows that when someone can intimidate others, it creates a temporary sense of authority and safety. This belief often forms early in life, especially in environments where vulnerability was punished and power was rewarded. Over time, cruelty becomes mistaken for confidence rather than recognised as insecurity.

The Brain’s Reward and Threat Systems

Neuroscience explains that this mindset is reinforced by the brain’s reward system. Acts of dominance can trigger dopamine release, creating a brief feeling of satisfaction or superiority. At the same time, the amygdala may remain in a constant state of threat perception, particularly in individuals raised in harsh or unstable environments. When the brain expects danger, aggression can feel protective, while kindness may feel risky or unsafe.

Psychological Defence, Not Emotional Strength

From a mental health perspective, cruelty often functions as a defence mechanism. It helps the person avoid feelings of fear, shame, or powerlessness they have never learned to process safely. This emotional armour can block empathy and self-reflection, making emotional growth difficult. While cruelty may look like strength on the surface, it often signals poor emotional regulation and unresolved trauma beneath it.

What Real Strength Looks Like

Science and psychology consistently show that true strength lies in emotional regulation, empathy, and self-control. These abilities rely on healthy communication between the prefrontal cortex, responsible for reasoning and restraint, and the amygdala, which processes fear and anger. Choosing calm over control requires awareness and effort, but it reflects a brain that feels safe enough to respond rather than react. In this sense, strength is not about overpowering others, but about mastering oneself.